he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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