dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My hand turned me down
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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