operation harelip BJ is a go
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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