Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
im holly from the hills drunk
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
