My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
