I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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