How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
