Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Even my vagina gasped.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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