Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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