There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
two words...techno handjob
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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