I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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