I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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