Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize