Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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