Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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