I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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