Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Randomize
