woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
