I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
