Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
