I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
