Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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