Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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