it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
