i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize