he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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