Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
