There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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