fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
