I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
