You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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