so explain again why im purple
no
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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