Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
