Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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