I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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