I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize