Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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