please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
