its not stalking. its research.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
