So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
pop tarts are not kleenex
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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