True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
