First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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