well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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