you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
