You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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