Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
3pm strippers are depressing
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
