I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
