Dual....:-)
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
