I hate all girls vehemently.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
