is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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