two words: eviction party
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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