just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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