You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
