you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
