Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize