Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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