I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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