girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
