what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
