I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
