I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize