After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
