well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
