remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
