whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
