One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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