Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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