Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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