If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
that is very illegal...i love you.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
