Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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