i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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