Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I want you more than these girls want KFC
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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