you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
