dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize