Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
