Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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