her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
