Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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