I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
