Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
