Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
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