the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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