some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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